The Truth About Dear Lillie (Jason's May Post)

I expected our host to take care of this, but since she did not, please allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Jason Crotty.  I am Jenni’s only brother and Lillie’s favorite relative (in the coming months I will also surely become the favorite of Jenni’s newest child… whose name currently escapes me).  For those who have been following the Dear Lillie blog for some time, you may recognize me from the far-too-occasional shout-outs Jenni reluctantly throws my way (usually in reference to my fledgling of a blog).  I am entering the final few weeks of my senior year at Notre Dame, and I will be working for Dear Lillie full time beginning this summer.  Now on to the important stuff…

Uncle of the Year

Since Jenni has somehow justified taking another extended vacation, I thought that this might be as good an opportunity as ever to shed a little light on some of her deepest, darkest secrets.  Actually, I will only be exposing one, but I figured the promise of many certainly carried more weight than the pledge of but a single revelation.  Rest assured, however, that the information I am about to disclose is more enlightening than a complete list of her childhood crushes.

Through the medium of Dear Lillie, it appears that Jenni has found an outlet for all of those urges she gets to redecorate each room in her house on a monthly basis or to conjure up second-rate drawings on her new Mac.  She then feels the needs to parade eight of these projects in front of us every week.  In fact, many of you have commented on her previous posts—expressing both awe and admiration while wondering just how she combines her talent, taste, and creativity to seemingly complete a host of projects in less time than it takes most of us to make a TV dinner.  Well here’s an explanation… She doesn’t.

Yes, that’s correct.  For the last two years Jennifer Holmes has been routinely stealing my work and labeling it her own.  Never considering myself a vigilante, I figured the authority of law would act in accordance with the spirit of justice.  Apparently it did not… So consider this my first attempt at putting an end to her unfortunate misconduct.  No, there is probably nothing I will ever be able to do to interrupt her continual flow of jealousy, but it is time that she finally discontinued her overtly criminal behavior.

While being the lifeblood of my extended family certainly does require a serious time commitment, I have somehow also managed to dabble in the worlds of art, photography, home design, and child-rearing.  Probably not the areas of expertise you might expect from such a high-level collegiate athlete as myself (note: that’s a joke), but I do my best.  For the last two years, these efforts have been met with little-to-no recognition because Jenni has swindled nearly all of my most inspirational designs.

Now I am going to assume that your loyalties lie with my sister.  After all, why would you have any reason to believe me?  No cause for alarm—I have come prepared with evidence so undeniable that I am sure to win your trust.  I have posted below examples of my own work in contrast to the work Jenni claims to be her own, and quite honestly, I’d be shocked if you could tell the difference between the two.

Interior Design

Templates

Art

Photography

At this point, the verdict should be quite obvious.  After viewing the mountain of incriminating evidence I have presented you with, I suspect that even the most faithful among you would be unable to blame coincidence or kinship for the striking similarity in our work.  While I can’t fault you for wanting to give my sister the benefit of the doubt, I can only hope that rationality wins the day.

I realize that many of you may be overwhelmed with a blazing outrage after learning of Jenni’s highly unethical tactics, but I urge you not to judge her too harshly.  After all, I can only imagine what it must be like to live in the shadow of a younger sibling whose artistic resume makes your own look like mere child’s play.

So while it may be disheartening to learn of her pattern of creative betrayal, I encourage you to help Jenni use this as an opportunity for growth.  Perhaps you could send her an email or two offering words of encouragement.  Together, I trust that we can help her through this most difficult time.

And now you know the truth about Dear Lillie...

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p.s. Jenni, the first step to recovery is admitting your mistake.  While I don’t expect you to do this anytime soon, I would like you to know that I accept your apology in advance.